Sunday, January 22, 2017

Email Slim:

I Always…behave…just not necessarily well.
I’ve never…been pregnant.
When I’m drunk I…passout.
When I dance I look like…Humpty Hump
Every Morning I…brush my teeth and then drink orange juice.  Dont judge me.
Sometimes I think about…things that make you go hmmm.
Twice a week I…thow my hands in the air and say FTS
Every 4th of July I…miss the fireworks because the fun happened all day.
When I’m Downtown I Always…know trouble is brewing.
My Last Relationship ended…because trouble was brewing.
If I had a pet Frog, it’s name would be…Roadkill.
If I could meet 3 dead people, they would be…Martin Luther King, Tupac, and Col. Sanders.  Damn Good Chicken.
Burritos make me…well…that all depends where it comes from.
When I see a mime, I say STFU. 
When I get to Chick-Fil-A on Sunday and remember it’s CLOSED…I….thank baby jesus.
When I see pictures of Kim Kardashian I…pray for little girls everywhere.
Taking Selfies is…very difficult with my large nose, crooked teeth and receding hairline.
When I was a kid, I was…my mothers pride and joy.  Then she had another kid.  And he was the special one.  Im still very resentful.
Old School Hip Hop makes me…   smile.  There is nothing better, and it’s the biggest pleasure to share it with you everyday.

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